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This is the first book of the Mary Sue series. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: I am very depressedEdit

Hello. My name is Ebony Dark'ness Mary Sue Dementia Raven Depressed Depressing Goffik Vampire Idiot LULZ N00b Way my parents chose this name for me because it would be easy to remember. I have Ebony black hair which for some reason I must have had as a baby which is a true sign I am a witch as most babies are born with no hair. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because I love incest. I am a Vampire and a Goth and I go to a School called Hogwarts in England though my bitch friend Willow must be an idiot as she was trying to convince me it was in Scotland earlier on today. I go to Hot Topic and I buy all my Emo clothes from there. For example today a group of Hufflepuffs were looking at me as if I was an alien. I put my middle finger up at them. They called me a wanker. I felt very depressed. I suddenly saw Draco Malfoy walking down the road so I ran up to him.

"Hey Draco!" I said sexily

"Fuck off Ebony" He replied

"Aw that's not very nice!" I said sexily

"Just fuck off. I don't like you. Nobody does!" He screamed at me

"Come on Draco what's up?" I said sexily

"FUCK OFF EBONY!!!" he shouted at me

"Do me right here Draco! RIGHT HERE!!!" I said casually

but before I had the chance to rape him he apperated away from me.

"Fuck" I said.

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The next day I woke up and drunk some blood. My friend Raven woke up, flipped her hair... And then opened her eyes? (AN: This actually happened in the real My Immortal. Freaky eh?) We both put on our emo clothes. Then she sad (Geddit sad instead of said 'cos im goffik) "OMFG! I SAW YOU TRYING TO CHAT UP DRACO FUCKING LUCIUS FUCKING MALFOY ZOMG!!"

"Said so what?" I replied sexily

"I BET U FANCY HIM DONT U? U FANCY DARKO U FANCY MALFOY!" she saidas we walked out of the Dungeon and into the Great hall.

"I don't" I said sexily

suddenly then I saw Draco. I walked straight up to him and said "Hey Draco I think you're sexy!" I said sexily 

"HA!" said Willow. "TOLD U U FAN CD HIM!" 

"Shut up Willow" I said sexily "Anyway, Draco to you want to come see MCR in a concert at Hogsmeade with me?"

Draco Replied: "a) I hate you and would never go in a concert with you even if it was to see Draco and the Malfoys b) My Father would not approve of me dating a 100% obvious Mary Sue and c) HOW THE HELL DID THOSE FILTHY MUGGLES GET INTO HOGWARTS ANYWAY?!?"

"It was Dumbledore" said Crabbe who was with Draco. "Yeah" said Goyle who was also with Draco "You know how he takes pity on Muggles" 

"That old bat's gonna get us killed if he carries on like this! Anyway, how is Dumbledore alive? I thought (SPOILER ALERT!) Snape killed him? In fact, Goyle aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Look, for evilness sake, (Geddit instead of Goodness sake cos im goofik? amirite? no? fuck you guys!) Draco are you coming to see Good Charlotte or not?" I said sexily

"I thought it was MCR? Oh well, NO I AM NOT COMING TO THE CONCERT WITH YOU EBONY! AND THAT'S FINAL!" 

"That's what you think!" I said sexily and pulled out a knife. The blood spurted from Draco's body until he was finally dead. Then, for good measure, I stabbed Crabbe and Goyle too. Then I slumped Draco's corpse over my shoulder ready for the concert...

(AN: Stay tuned for more! If you don't then you're a prep!)

Chapter 2: The MCR/ Good Charlotte concert begins!Edit

On the night of the concert I put on my emo clothes and forced Draco into his. Then I slit one of my wrists and read a depressing book (Twilight). Then I nicked Neville Longbottom's car (but only after spray-painting it so it looked emo rather than preppy) and flew it over to Hogsmeade. We both got to the concert and tried to dance only it seemed quite hard as he was no longer alive. Gerard Way sung a bunch of shit Nobody except Goths, Emos and Idiots care about. We went and asked a couple of faggots for their autographs. Then I got in the car but didn't drive the way (Geddit 'cos of Gerard Way) back to Hogwarts. I drove it to....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................The Forbidden Forest!!!!!!!!!!!!11111oneoneoeneoeneoONE!!!1

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I crashed Neville's car. Damnit. He'll kill me for that... But not if I kill him first hehehehee.

Suddenly I took Draco's corpse and fucked it but then I heard a voice:

"Enoby! Why are you sitting there naked and fucking Draco's corpse? And what have you done to Neville's car?"

and then I heard another voice: "I'm gonna kill you for that. That used to be my Grandmother's car!"

I turned around. It was Neville and Dumbledore!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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