This is a massive crossover between Harry Potter, UBOS, the Simpsons Halloween episode Wiz Kids, Jumanji, Grim adventures ect.
Chapter 1 Edit
Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
It was after the sorting hat ceremony. Harry, Ron and Hermione had all thankfully been sorted together into Gryffindor. Harry was still concerned as to why the hat felt he should be in Slytherin. Ron's older brother Percy was their prefect.
"Come along now first years, the common room is this way, don't worry too much about the ghosts, well except for Peeves." Percy explained as he guided them up the magic staircases. Suddenly and ironically Peeves appeared from the walls.
"Oh ickle firsties! Open fire!" Peeves yelled, he shot spit wads at them, the youngsters ducked and shielded themselves with their books.
"Peeves that's quite enough! Don't make me get Filch!" Percy yelled, Peeves relented and left but not without sticking out his tongue and making rude noises at Percy while his back was turned.
"Sorry about that, you'll all have to get used to that." Percy explained, however some of the 1st years giggled, they thought Peeves was funny. Eventually they arrived at the portrait of The Fat Lady.
"Password?" Asked the Fat Lady.
"Capult Draconis." said Percy.
"I should think so too." The Fat Lady replied as she swung aside allowing them into the common room.
Once in the common room, Percy told them where the toilets were and where the boys and girls dormitories were.
"And one more thing, it is strictly against school rules to be wandering the halls at night. Of course I will be in the common room's study most nights watching like a hawk so I doubt anyone will be able to get out without me knowing." Percy explained. "I'll be watching all of you, especially Fred and George." He glared at his twin brothers who were always up to no good.
For the rest of the evening, Harry explained his morning in Diagon Alley. How he went to Gringotts and found out his parents had left him a fortune in Galleons, Sickles and Knuts. Then he went to the shops to buy his school supplies. First stop was Ollivanders for a wand.
"Ah, I was wandering when I'd be seeing you, Mister Potter." Ollivander popped out of nowhere on one of those sliding ladders, the old and wise wizard helped Harry pick out a wand. The first two were too violent and uncontrollable. The last one suited him fine. However Ollivander explained it was unusual for this wand to chose him because its twin gave him his scar.
Next was Flourish and Blotts, the book store. The shopkeeper, a miserable man who disliked children gave each child in the store their books they would need that year. After Harry paid for his he sat down on the benches outside with Hagrid and went through them.
"1st year spells and charms by Miranda Goshawk. 1000 herbs and plants by Phyllus Spore. Care of magical creatures and beasts. Potions Volume 1." Harry read the titles of each book.
"Ar, you've got a lot of 'eavy readin to do 'arry." said the half giant. He escorted Harry to the next store, for his uniform.
The shopkeeper, a stern lady measured him with a tape measure to get his sizes. Then she gave him some robes to try on, Harry blushed as he could hear some girls giggling as he showed off his uniform to Madame Malkins.
Next was school supplies. He went to the quill store for quills and inks and the potion store for equipment for potions class. This was things such as cauldrons, pester and mortars, scalpels ect.
Eventually it was late and Harry and Ron retired to their dormitory. Harry was suprised to see he had a four poster bed, it was a vast improvement from sleeping in the cupboard under the stairs.
The next day started with charms, they were taught by Professor Flitwick, an excitable dwarf of a man with a long white beard. They were taught Wingardium Leviosa, a levitating charm. They were to try it on a some feathers.
"Remember to swish and flick!" Squeaked Flitwick.
Ron however just furiously waved his wand.
"Ron, now before you have someone's eye out, you have to swish and flick like this. (She waved her wand as instructed) And it's not Levioser it's Leviosa." Hermione explained.
"Fine, if you're so good, you do it!" Ron said rudely. Meanwhile Harry successfully casted Wingardium Leviosa and the feather floated, following his wand.
"Excellent Mister Potter! 10 points to Gryffindor!" Flitwick cheered. However there was an almighty explosion as Seamus somehow managed to ignite his feather, it was soon reduced to cinders as the boy looked quite foolish covered in soot.
"Oh dear. Practice makes perfect Mister Finnagen." Sighed Flitwick.
Next was potions, the professor, Snape was a harsh man and he quickly noticed Harry wasn't paying attention to his boring speech so he quizzed him on basic potion ingredients.
"What use would I have for Mandrake roots?" asked Snape.
"I,I don't know Professor." Harry stammered
"Very well. Where would I find a bezoar?"
"I dunno Professor..."
"What is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?"
"I haven't a clue sir." Harry replied.
"Perhaps you should pay attention in future, fame isn't everything Potter..." Snape spoke in a venomous tone, he then went onto explain Mandrake was used to make a powerful sleeping potion known as the draught of living death. Bezoars were stones found in a goat's stomach and could treat most poisons. And finally that Monkshood and Wolfsbane were both the same plant, also known as aconite. After class Hermione felt sorry for Harry but felt this was a good opportunity for some extra revising during morning break.
"Harry I think it's time we both did a little revision, to the library!" She took him and Ron to the library, Ron groaned in pain.
After break was Transfiguration, unfortunately they were late because of Ron. Professor mcgonagall scared the living out of them when she transformed from her cat form.
"Take your seats, Mr Weasley and Mr Potter. I do not tolerate lateness so be warned! Next time I may deduct house points." Mcgonagall stared at them from her spectacles. They learnt Avifors a spell to turn statues into birds.
After transfiguration was herbology with Professor Sprout. She had them catch some bouncing bulbs by withering them with Incendio and putting them in the crate provided.
At lunch they visited Hagrid. After lunch was flying lessons with Madame Hooch, 1st years weren't allowed their own brooms so brooms were provided for the class alone. The class soon fell into chaos when Neville fell of his broom and sprained his wrist. After Hooch took him to the hospital wing Draco revealed he had stolen Neville's rememberall and goaded Harry into chasing him for it, on their brooms.
Harry eventually got the rememberall back but was caught by professor mcgonagall. Luckily she didn't take him to the headmaster's office but to Quirrel's fourth year class and called for Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor captain. Harry was made the house's seeker for Quidditch.
"Ace! You made Seeker!" Ron cheered, Harry was just relieved he wasn't going to be expelled.
The last lesson was with Quirrel, Defence against the dark arts. Something about Quirrel made Harry's scar hurt. They learnt Verdimillious, a spell to light up rooms and remove curses from dark platforms so they would turn solid. Unfortunately they couldn't leave the dungeons after class because "someone" (Draco, cough.) had put a curse on the doors. Harry had to find four coloured eye creatures and destroy them to break the curse.
At the end of the day they had dinner in the great hall then retired to their dormitories.
Chapter 2 Edit
Verne had just been dropped off by his parents, his mom had to embarrass him in front of everyone.
"Love you, Verne!" Gus the half elf sniggered. Verne introduced himself.
"Hi, I'm Verne."
"The name's Gus."
"I'm Cassy." Gus and Cassy greeted him.
"You're the Mortie who everyone is talking about."
"Mortie?" Verne asked.
"It means you don't have magical parents, your mom and pop are just regular people." Gus explained.
"Well I've never seen my mom ride a vacuum cleaner..." Verne explained. Cassy and Gus giggled.
"A broom would have made more sense, and we don't ride brooms here, instead we ride flying scooters." Cassy explained. Some students flew over head on scooters. They eventually met Ms Crystalgazer, the headmistress. She was disguised as a cat. They then went to their dorms but not before falling for a prank thanks to Lucretia and Borgias, a pair of vampire twins.
"Don't worry about them Verne. Legend has it their parents once worked for Zarlack." Cassy explained.
"Zarlack?" Verne asked but Cassy and Gus hushed him.
"The most evil wizard ever! Of course their parents soon betrayed their master in return for being kept out of prison." Gus explained. "Cowards really." Gus took Verne to the dormitory and showed him around. Then they had classes. Their first was with Ms Crystalgazer and a magic talking book with a face called UBOs. Verne fell asleep listening to Crystalgazer's boring lecture...
Things soon got interesting when UBOs volunteered Verne, Gus and Cassy to go on an adventure to gather some herbs. They went through a portal to a swamp. Something crawled up Verne's leg.
"Ah! Something is in my pants!" Verne yelled. They extracted the creature, it was a pink swamp slug.
"Ha! Scared of a swamp slug!" Gus teased but suddenly the slug got bigger and bigger... Soon it was a monster!
"Eek! Do something!" Cassy yelped. Verne tried to zap it but he was knocked over and broke his wand.
"My wand!" He groaned as sparks flew from the two halves. He had an idea, Verne plunged the two electrified wand halves into the slug and electrocuted it. It screamed as it was fried to death.
"Cool!" Gus grinned, yeah like electrocuting a poor slug is cool...
They eventually got the herb and went back to class by the portal. UBOs praised them for their hard work and dismissed them to their next class.
Chapter 3 Edit
Springwarts, Springfield elementary.
Bart and Lisa's class were together learning how to turn frogs into princes. The class was not without the usual distractions, Nelson was making Milhouse zap himself with his own wand, Ralph ate his frog and Harry was chewing gum.
"No ma'am, tis brimstone." The Harry Potter look alike breathed fire. Eventually they got to work.
"Slimy prince Limey." Milhouse turned his frog into a drunk fat medieval irish man.
"Allo luv! Gizzus a kiss!" The minstrel asked.
"Ugh! You call that charming? Well at least he's human." Krabappel groaned giving him a C.
"Hocus crocus." Lisa turned her frog into a handsome British prince.
"Excellent! An A+! And we'll be discussing your grade over breakfast..." Krabappel romantically teased the prince making him blush.
"Now for Bart... Did you study or did your fairy godmother die again?" Krabappel sighed.
"I studied! Abra... Turn into a handsome prince guy?" Bart tried to cast a spell but it backfired and turned his frog into a vomitting frog mutant.
"Please kill me! Bleeeeeugh!" The frog mutant gasped before puking everywhere.
"Lisa's casting at an eighth grade level. You've sinned against nature." Krabappel sighed, failing him.
Bart then started an argument with Lisa.
"You think you're so great just because you have God like powers!" Bart yelled but Lisa's prince interfered.
"Step away from the lady." The prince said in a posh voice.
"Get in there and defend my honor!" Bart yelled picking up his frog mutant, it vomitted on Lisa's prince.
"Every moment of my life is agony!" The frog groaned while puking.
"Bart! Stop getting vomit on my prince! Head Zeppelin!" She zapped him turning his head into a Zeppelin. Bart floated up to the ceiling groaning in pain. Everyone laughed at him.
Unbeknownst to everyone, they were being watched by Lord Montymort, Mr Burns as a parody of Voldermort. Yeah the rest of the episode is just a shameless parody of Harry Potter but with childish spells. That evening was parents evening where the pupils had to show off their talents. Milhouse showed off his invisibility cloak but ended up only making his clothes invisible. After some amnesia dust it was Lisa's turn, she was going to turn a dragon into a butterfly. However Bart had swapped her wand for a twizzler.
"Release the dragon!" Lisa called to Martin and the nerds. Suddenly Hades from Clash of the Titans disrupted the assembly. "It's release the kraken!" He yelled before being dragged out of the hall. Without further interruptions Martin and the nerds released the dragon. It roared and breathed fire.
"Oh my goodness! She'll be killed!" Yelled Marge.
"My sweet little angel!" Homer yelled but he was drawn to his portable TV. Lisa however was calm.
"Flutterby dragonfly!" She casted a spell, but it didn't work. "Huh?" She examined her wand.
"A twizzler!" She groaned, suspecting Bart immediately. Bart laughed loudly as usual. Suddenly the dragon turned into Montymort.
Everyone ran out screaming like Mr Burns was the dark lord or something.
"Guys seriously, it's just my boss!" Homer yelled.
"Simpson! You're fired!" Said giant Mr Burns.
Mr Burns then grabbed Lisa and put a magic siphoning hat on her and shook the magic out of her like trying to get the last of the ketchup out of a bottle.
"This is making me nauseous!" Lisa groaned as she was shook up and down.
"This is all my fault! I have to save her!" Bart realised. He took out his wand and casted a really cool spell!
"Prank be undone, destroy the evil one!" Bart yelled dramatically, but the spell zapped him instead and burnt out his wand.
"Ow! Not me you idiot!" Bart said to his now burnt out wand. He shrugged and stabbed Mr Burns/ Montymort in the shin with the wand.
"Ow! My enchanted shin! How did you know that was the source of my power?" Groaned Mr Burns as he died. That is a pretty stupid source of power if you ask me. He collasped managing to not squash anyone in the process and shrunk down to normal size. Smithers as Slithers, a parody of Nagini decided in mourning to swallow Mr Burns whole.
"Eeeeeew!" Bart and Lisa groaned.
"Thanks for saving me Bart. You know, you may not be as great at magic, but you're an ok brother." This is where the episode ends with that leprechaun hiding on Bart's shoulders, oh spooky!
After school, Marge and Homer took the kids to get Bart to get a new wand. The Comic Book guy wasn't very happy he had already broken his wand.
"Try to look after this wand, seriously are you trying to rip off the sub plot in Chamber of Secrets with Ron Weasley's broken wand?" Bart paid for his wand. He demonstrated some magic with it, he successfully summoned a bouquet of flowers.
"Nice going Bart!" Lisa praised him.
"Well I'll be a son of a witch!" Bart quipped, everyone groaned.
"Worse reference to Treehouse of Horror 8 ever!" Yelled the Comic Book Guy.
Chapter 4 Edit
Jumanji, just outside Slick's store.
One afternoon in Jumanji Oscar the narrator was wandering around when he arrived at a bazaar. The stall was run by none other then Trader Slick, the merchant of Jumanji. He sold a variety of objects, some useful, some not so. He even sold dangerous and powerful artifacts.
"Good afternoon young'un! Do I have a deal for you. Yessiree Bob!" Slick took out a tome, it was small and had a black cover.
"Jumanji sorcery for beginners. I've been watching you eyeball the forbidden tome of Jumanji, may I suggest you resist the temptation to pilfer it. It is far too advanced for such youngsters such as yourself." Slick explained. "This should wet your appetite for casting spells for the time being."
"Cool! How much?" Oscar asked.
"Um... How about all of those porcupine quills protruding from your behind?" Slick noticed Oscar had sat on a porcupine again.
"Deal." Oscar traded the quills for the book. He read the book as he travelled back to the savannah. Eventually Peter and Judy arrived to have yet another adventure in Jumanji. There was a stampede.
"Yaaaaa! Ruuuun!" Yelled Peter but they were rescued just in time by Alan. They had a conversation about school and their clue they needed to remember and solve in order to return back home to Brantford.
Oscar soon arrived still reading the book.